The Character Issue: Parents as Teachers

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Cornell Notes

Main Notes

  • Character development is a challenging process filled with obstacles and temptations
  • Children require guidance, moral road maps, and examples of truthful adults acting with moral strength
  • Schools' attempts at 'character training' often fail due to lack of philosophical and theological context
  • Moral issues are discussed in schools without settling on a single moral standard to avoid disagreement
  • Asserting right and wrong too strongly is avoided to promote tolerance
  • Character training is not a subject that can be packaged into a curriculum like algebra or spelling
  • The definition of character is tied to standards of right and wrong, which are linked to religious beliefs
  • Character training occurs through example and teaching in daily life, not just in classrooms
  • Character is defined as the possession of moral qualities that have become habits of life
  • A list of character traits is provided, including boldness, compassion, honesty, humility, creativity, etc.
  • Teaching character traits in abstract without philosophical or theological underpinning is challenging
  • Parents have the authority and responsibility to plan for their child's future and explain the importance of character traits
  • A shared context or worldview between parent and child is crucial for explaining character qualities
  • Without a shared context, character training becomes following pointless rules
  • More demanding virtues like tolerance, forgiveness, and humility require a stronger shared context
  • Different belief systems may have varying definitions of virtues like forgiveness
  • Schools' attempts to create a universally acceptable definition of virtues often result in weak, vague concepts
  • Building character is primarily a parent's job, not a teacher's
  • Moral qualities become habits through practice and often by going against a child's immediate desires
  • Character development requires reinforcement through both observation and practice
  • Parents should carefully select books and movies that demonstrate admirable character
  • Parents must model positive character traits in their daily interactions with their children
  • Children internalize character traits by consistently observing them in their parents
  • Developing character requires learning obedience, which changes as the child grows and becomes more responsible
  • Total autonomy can lead to disregard for laws and restrictions
  • Teaching consequences for disregarding rules is an expression of intelligent, loving care
  • Requiring hard work and study in early years develops industry and perseverance
  • Disciplined people generally accomplish more and achieve their goals
  • Stories provide powerful models of character and should be read and discussed together
  • Home education allows character learning to take place in the context of family life
  • Education becomes intertwined with living life together in the home education model

Cue Column

  • How does character development relate to life's challenges?
  • What role do adults play in a child's moral development?
  • Why do school-based character training programs often fail?
  • How does religious belief impact character definition?
  • What is the difference between teaching character and other subjects?
  • How can parents effectively explain the importance of character traits?
  • Why is a shared context crucial for character development?
  • How do different belief systems impact the definition of virtues?
  • What are the limitations of school-based character education?
  • How do moral qualities become habits?
  • What role do books and movies play in character development?
  • How can parents model positive character traits?
  • Why is obedience important in character development?
  • How does autonomy relate to respect for rules and laws?
  • What is the relationship between discipline and goal achievement?
  • How can stories be used to teach character?
  • What advantages does home education offer for character development?
  • How does character education differ between home and school settings?
  • What is the role of consequences in character development?
  • How can parents balance enjoyment and hard work in education?

Summary

This chapter emphasizes the critical role of parents in developing their children's character, highlighting the limitations of school-based character education programs. The authors argue that character development is intrinsically linked to moral and religious beliefs, making it challenging to teach effectively in a secular school environment that aims to respect all beliefs equally.

The text defines character as the possession of moral qualities that have become habitual, listing various traits such as honesty, diligence, and forgiveness. It stresses that these traits cannot be taught abstractly but must be demonstrated, practiced, and reinforced within a shared moral context. Parents are identified as the primary source of this context and the most effective teachers of character.

The chapter critiques school-based character education programs for their inability to assert strong moral positions due to concerns about offending different belief systems. This results in watered-down definitions of virtues that lack the depth and specificity needed for true character development. The authors argue that this approach fails to provide children with the solid moral foundation they need to navigate life's challenges.

Home education is presented as an ideal environment for character development. It allows parents to integrate moral teachings into daily life, model positive behaviors consistently, and provide immediate feedback and guidance. The text emphasizes the importance of parents exemplifying the character traits they wish to instill, as children learn primarily through observation and imitation.

The chapter also touches on the role of literature and storytelling in character education. It suggests that carefully selected books and movies can provide powerful models of good character, serving as a basis for discussion and reflection. The authors recommend reading and discussing these stories together as a family to reinforce moral lessons and encourage critical thinking about ethical issues.

Overall, the text presents a holistic view of character education that goes beyond rote learning of moral platitudes. It advocates for a deeply integrated approach where character development is woven into the fabric of family life and education, with parents serving as both teachers and role models in this crucial aspect of a child's development.

Action Items

    • Define character within your family's belief system
    • Explain the importance of moral qualities in the context of your worldview

    • Model desired character traits in your own behavior
    • Reinforce positive character traits through observation and practice
    • Use everyday situations to teach and discuss moral qualities

    • Select books and movies that demonstrate admirable character
    • Carefully review and filter young adult literature for appropriate moral content

    • Implement age-appropriate rules and expectations
    • Explain the importance of following rules in society
    • Adjust levels of autonomy based on the child's demonstrated responsibility

    • Require hard work and study, especially in less enjoyable subjects
    • Balance challenging work with enjoyable learning experiences
    • Explain the long-term benefits of disciplined study

    • Read character-building stories together as a family
    • Discuss the moral implications and lessons from these stories
    • Relate story themes to real-life situations
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